A Christmas Tale: How to transform your Blue Christmas into a Joyful one.
Dear Reader,
I hope this letter finds you well. If It doesn’t, then I hope this letter helps you in some way. I know writing it already has. I’m going to get right down to it — I am not well.
The holiday season is a time for joy and being around the people you love. For me, it’s tied with a bow of sadness and sometimes loneliness.
You see, when I was a kid Christmas felt like it did in the movies. The whole extended family was gathered around the adult table.
The kids were stationed at the tiny kid’s table in the living room. Both sides of the family were laughing and eating endless amounts of beautiful veggies, ham, and pasta.
Let’s not forget the wave of food coma that took over as the 4 different kinds of pies, butter cookies, and sweets paired with espresso and coffee were on the table.
Gifts from that morning were still stacked under the tree. Mountains of them. The living room was our playground.
I thought I had the perfect Christmases, but then I got older. Family members disappeared. The size of our table got smaller. We started to spend Christmas elsewhere.
There would be debates, mounds of passive aggressiveness, and food I wasn’t used to. My Christmas food was gone. Who puts fennel in stuffing? Give me the plain stuff. Bread and herbs like Grandma used to make.
It got me thinking. Is this what the adult table was really like? Was I hidden from the reality of the adult table? Why are we not spending Christmas with my aunts, uncles, and cousins anymore? Have I been making up my Christmas memories in my head?
Something felt empty. I didn’t feel comfortable anymore. Talk about a Blue Christmas.
Have you experienced something like this? Has the magic of Christmas faded for you too? How do you get through it?
Every year this wave of memories floods through my brain but instead of feeling the joy they bring me, something shifts.
Suddenly, I’m lonely. I feel the emptiness of the people that once loved each other. I sulk and feel pure sadness.
Don’t let this personal letter steer you wrong. I love spending Christmas with the family I do now. It’s a time for us to bond. To appreciate each other. To move forward and make our own traditions.
There I am every year with people I love, and I’m still sad. How do we get out of the Christmas Blues?
Here’s what I’m going to start doing, and I hope this helps you to. Let's focus on the joy in front of us. The past stays in the past for a reason.
Although realizing my memories of the adult table may have been an illusion (and that is difficult to face in itself), it got smaller for a reason. That reason is history now. It’s time to stay present.
So like most things, it comes down to mindset and perspective.
I suggest we make a list of what presently brings us joy. Here’s mine:
Dad’s Eggplant.
Laughing over silly things because of the wine.
My immediate family spending time together. We don’t get to do that often nowadays.
My circle of friends who are more like family to me than my extended one has ever been.
A life still yet to live.
They weren’t kidding when they said “count your blessings.” To count them is to bring a new mindset to your feelings, and bring you out of your blue ones.
I hope you have a very Merry Christmas, a Happy Holiday for whichever one you celebrate, and a Happy New Year. I hope your List of Present Joy is a long one.
For more stories and ramblings like this one, subscribe to my newsletter. I’m here holding your hand. I write to remind you that you are not alone.
See you in 2024.